A Reflection about Responding to Misgendering

“If I lived a life where I was just getting upset every time someone used the wrong pronoun, I would be very sad, and I’m done with being sad.”

I read Elliot Page shares how he responds when someone misgenders him: ‘I don’t take it personally’ from Pink News. This quote is from Sam Smith and they are talking about how they feel when someone misgenders them. This article was interesting to me because as a cisgender female who uses she/they pronouns, I have never been misgendered. Reading about one’s experiences and reactions to this is helpful for me in order to understand more of what transgender, non-binary, and other individuals who often are misgendered go through. I think this also connects to our reading on The Five Sexes, and how society wants everyone to fit into a neat little box. Not fitting in results in alienated feelings. This article invoked a lot of thought, especially when I read that Page thinks that educating oneself matters and he cares more about that aspect. He says, “There are a lot of resources out there to learn more about trans people and the reality of our experiences. A question isn’t always a negative thing, but there’s a time and place and context and tone.” I think this is a really important thing for people to remember when they are afraid to approach the topic. Questions about experiences can be helpful for education, but are not always appropriate and this can make people feel as though these questions are taboo. Sam Smith says, “We need to lean into the uncomfortable feeling of being wrong sometimes, because it’s okay.” The feeling that we as humans get when we are wrong is uncomfortable but also unavoidable in order to learn.

Another thing that stood out to me was how about half of young Americans believe purposefully misgendering is a crime, yet it is still prevalent in society. In the case of Elliot Page, an individual named Jordan Peterson appeared to dedicate 2022 to misgendering Page. As we can see in this article, there have been repeat offenses of Peterson misgendering Page, which demonstrates how purposeful it is and how messed up it is. Instances like these make me feel more deeply for the transgender community and anyone who has the possibility of being misgendered. Overall, this article really opened my eyes to the struggles connected to gender and how common it is.